Allison's Brain

Reasons Why Apr 9, 2008 Blows

1. I have two HUGE zits on my chin, both in varying stages of death.
2. My zits are flaking, in addition to my scalp and my finger tips. What's up with all the dry skin?
3. I have a hole in my sweater. Banana Republic sweaters suck.
4. Today's hairstyle features 3/4-inch roots b/c I ditched my hair appointment last weekend.
5. There's a new scratch/dent on my right front fender b/c I misjudged the curb while pulling out of the gas station.
6. I'm going to have to beg, flash, and promise my 1st born child to the parking attendant b/c I left my parking card at home today. Whoops!
7. Only 6 more days until I have to cut that nearly $2000 check to Uncle Sam. <sigh>

Reasons why today BLOWS!

I'm a barrel of laughs. There's no way the laugh lines on my face are getting deeper today b/c I won't be cracking a smile. I'm grumpy and irritable and ready to call it a day. Is it quittin' time yet?

These are the reasons why today BLOWS!

1. I got yelled at for trying to order office supplies.
2. An important email got returned because someone hasn't cleaned out their inbox in a while. There must be like over a 1000 emails in this person's inbox.
3. People are demonstrating outside of my building. I can hear bullhorns and chants from the crowd.
4. I have to go to a meeting this afternoon that is always aggravating and a waste of time.
5. My boyfriend is 3000 miles away.

Motivation Station

It was recently brought up to me how sad it is that I seem to have lost my motivation to write on this blog. Yes, it's true... I've been a bit distracted lately. Although I did have some technical issues that were out of my control, I wasn't exactly posting daily just before that. Funny how being confronted about my timid typing motivated me to write. So in honor of Kim and Ang, here are my top ten reasons for lacking motivation:

1. I suck.
2. I hate my hair and that negative attitude is poisoning my spirit.
3. Tom and Katie have truly stressed me out. Celeb gossip just isn't as much fun when these two posers are everywhere.
4. I'm dating a nice boy, so I'm not out and about meeting annoying guys and complaining about it.
5. I quit my job at the gym, which has greatly reduced my source of countless "no they didn't" stories.
6. Being Bobby Brown has been canceled and The Bachelor is boring.
7. Berkeley is being moody and won't sleep in my bed with me anymore, which is greatly effecting the renewal of creative juices I get from sleeping.
8. JennChantal and Clint are out of my daily life... thus I have many many many less interesting conversations to write about.
9. I'm lazy.
10. Finally, everyone and their brother has a blog these days. MySpace has stolen my identity and reason for living.

Wow, I feel so much better after getting that out of my system. Hopefully this mental purge will clear the clouds and allow me to see inspiration in places I never noticed it before. Forgive me father for I have sinned. I have repented and now I move forward with renewed spirit and intention of doing my best to entertain the few people who are still reading this. Can I get a "hell yeah?"

Things to do this holiday weekend...

It's a 3-day weekend. Kick ass! Thanks to the holiday, I'm super excited to have an extra day to recoup after a jam packed weekend. So here are some of the things I hope to accomplish...

1. Wrestle with Berkeley to pull at least 5 stickers/burrs out of her beard before she sees Frank and Rod on Saturday for a makeover. Damn weeds!
2. Get my eyebrows threaded at my favorite little salon that charges only $7.99 for perfectly groomed brows.
3. Make an apple pie. 
4. Kick some ass in pool. Drink heavily.
5. Embark on a new adventure in my life... a taste of tri-tip. I haven't eaten red meat since I was 15, but I'm making an exception because the chef claims it is to die for. If I don't post next week, I guess it was.
6. Zap the zit on my cheek that has more staying power than John Holmes in his late teens/early 20s.
7. Find a way to rescue the earring that has fallen into the sliding track of the driver's seat in the hooptie. I can see the little gold wire, but can't seem to get it. I fear a screwdriver and some sort of seat removal might be necessary. <sigh>
8. Bat my eyes and drop my pencil in order to lure a nice young man into rescuing my earring for me. ;-)
9. Take Berk to the dog park and then maybe for some ice cream, although I haven't decided if my carpet will be punished as a result. She turns 10 on Monday. Woohoo!
10. Stop laughing at this hilarious, genius pic of Roxie Heart celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Life would not be worth living without the demented minds of some of my friends. Check out her website for more great pics. Link at right.  

Reasons why today is great...

1. It's Friday!!!!!!!!! This has been an aggravatingly long week and I'm so happy it's almost over.
2. I'm going to Marix with Alla tomorrow night for a fantabulous margarita and some frijoles negros. Oley!
3. This great headline from CNN.com makes me happy: Barbie's Boy Toy Gets a Metrosexual Makeover. Don't miss the video clip showing stylist Philip Bloch explain why Ken looks gayer than ever in his Italian leather jacket and jeans.
4. I had this blonde joke in my inbox this morning. Download blonde_joke.doc. Thanks Smith!
5. I'm having cake for lunch at a coworker's going away party!!

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Matt

Dear Matthew Tyler Mitchell, how I love you. Let me count the ways.

1. I love your ability to make me laugh when I'm having a bad day.
2. I love that you love shoes almost as much as me, although I don't know if I believe your claim to look better in a pair of Manolos.
3. I love that you like to order shots at the Abbey because that means I get great phone calls at 12:30AM that you don't remember the next day.
4. I love that you share tips with me on how to be a good... date. ;-)
5. I love that you said if I were gay, I'd be a queen, but you don't remember it.
6. I love that you have learned to appreciate CCC almost as much as me.
7. I love that are so dedicated to your job and are such a hard worker. Daddy works hard for the money!
8. I love that you have good taste in clothing and like to go shopping at Banana Republic with me.
9. I love that you say "huuh" alot in your spinning class, and that you play good music like Green Day!!!!
10. And last but not least, I love the way your eyes sparkle when I say something completely inappropriate and I know that you caught my drift. We share our affinity for irreverence.

For all of these reasons and many more, I pledge my undying love and respect to you for the life of our friendship. I will name my firstborn child after you and will never speak ill of you in my blog again. If you were in front of me now, I would give you a blurb, Berkeley style... the ultimate sign of affection from me. Go forth and prosper and be my friend again, I humbly beg of you.

Kindly,

Your Servant in Life and in the After World

Allison

Reasons... today is so-so

Today is just so-so, average, milieu, bor-ing. It's partly cloudy, partly sunny. I'm half-awake, half-asleep. My hair is half-up, half-down. Couldn't something in this day pick a side? Either suck irrefutably or kick some ass. Here is why today is so-so:

1. My car can't decide if it wants to die a miserable death or go another 100,000 miles. Just when I think I'm over it, it charms me again with its tenacity and I can't bare to part with it. Then again, I can't stop looking at new cars.
2. No one has emailed me in the past 2 hours. Then again, I haven't emailed anyone either. Does everyone hate me or do I hate them?
3. I can't decide if I want to go to Nashville and throw myself at Travis, or stay in LA and throw myself at someone else.
4. This blog has been replaced on Matt's to-do list by Suduko. Who cares about a stupid crossword puzzle knockoff game?? I don't like your spinning class anyway. I do take it to waste my Saturday and no you're not going to get me to work my ass off. So there!
5. Tom Cruise has done nothing shocking lately, therefore he's still on my key chain. In fact celebrities in general are boring me.

Is it too much to ask for something exciting or horrible to happen? Can't Lindsay Lohan throw up a lung or something, or at the least color her hair again? This state of in-between is stressing me out. I want to be celebrating something or burying my head under the covers. I have all of this pent up energy and no outlet. To quote Chris Farley: "for the love of god!!" Thank you and good night.

Reasons Why Today is Great!

1. I slept so well last night that I was actually awake and ready to get up when my alarm went off.
2. Berkeley gave me a nice wet nose and a small grunt to push me out of bed officially.
3. There was a cinnamon-raisin bagel waiting for me in the cafeteria, despite the late hour for breakfast!!!!!
4. I found my prescription strength decongestants so I can breathe out of my nose now!
5. I had exactly 69 messages in my inbox. Hee-hee. I know, I'm 12 years old.
6. It's beautiful and 60-something degrees in sunny southern California.
7. I had CCC for lunch with Jenn and Dana.
8. One of my bosses found someone else to clean out the clutter from our office which means I don't have to do it!!!
9. I have a fun project to work on for the next few hours.
10. I remembered to bring my daily rip-off Schnauzer calendar to work, so I have cute fuzzy faces staring at me for the next 353 days!

Today blows... or blew

Reasons why this morning sucked:

1. I awoke to doggy sickness on my carpet
2. My hair looks atrocious
3. I seem to have lost the pair of earrings that would have perfectly complemented my outfit
4. Green Day was not nominated for an Album of the Year Grammy Award
5. I accidentally entered my max bid for some lipgloss on eBay as $99.99 instead of $9.99. I'm currently and will forever be "winning" this auction
6. I left my cell phone at home

Reasons why this afternoon is better:

1. I found out that a friend from Berkeley will be joining me in Philly at a conference next week
2. I had California Chicken Cafe for lunch
3. I made plans to have California Chicken Cafe for lunch tomorrow
4. I remembered that I saw Memoirs of a Geisha at a special screening yesterday and will therefore scoop Ebert with my review
5. I'm drinking martini's after work
6. I have decided to claim that someone hacked my eBay account in case the lipgloss price goes above $12.99
7. I ordered Mini Schnauzer calendars for next year so I can have 365 days of fuzzy faces staring back at me

Today

Reasons why today is great:

1. I'm wearing one of my favorite sweaters!!
2. I was as lazy as I was social this weekend and enjoyed every moment it.
3. Berkeley slept under the covers with me all night, providing that extra bit of warmth I needed on a cool night.
4. It's the beginning of my birthday week and I already got 2 presents!!
5. I'm drinking wine and watching movies with Matt tonight = hours of fun and hysterical laughter.

Reasons why today isn't so great:

1. I haven't won the lottery.
2. I had to spend $400 on the hooptie on new brakes.
3. Berkeley got my favorite sweater dirty with her muddy paws.
4. It's raining... not enough to require an umbrella but sufficient to give me a bad hair day.
5. I can't find the loose powder that reduces the shine on my face. It was in my car yesterday but has somehow been eaten by the hooptie overnight.

Friday night was fun and games with friends who were celebrating birthdays. I have found that the number of photos on any given night out is inversely proportional to the number of drinks I've had. Sorry, I'm in "scientific writer" mode. For the lay people, this means the more I drink, the less I photograph. So the night started out with some great pics of Matt and I enjoying ourselves at Milly's bday party at the Bungalow Club. I met Milly in South Africa and she thoughtfully invited me to her soiree. Matt was trying his hardest to attract any gays in the straight bar with his "open 24 hours" shirt. Love it!!! But alas, all he got was me. Then it was on to Monroe's for a double-dipped-in-chocolate party for Mo and Tina. Unfortunately I don't have any pics of the birthday duo... only a shot of Matt and I (again) leaving the bar. (Wow. We look really excited to have our picture taken!!)

Sat night I drove down to the LBC to meet Kelli and Kim for dinner. Forgot my camera. No photos. I suck. And I spent the rest of the weekend being lazy... watching football, eating brunch, and then watching more football. It was the first official weekend that I didn't have to work so I did exactly the opposite and caved. It was great and I look forward to many more...